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Ashes 2 Ashes

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[07 Sep 2005|01:08pm]
Our emotional state of choice is Ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is Love. Our addiction of choice is technology. Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none. Our society of choice is utopian though we know it will never be.
You may hate us. You may dismiss us. You may misunderstand us. You may be unaware of our existence. We can only hope you do not care to judge us, because we would never judge you. We are not criminals. We are not disillusioned. We are not drug addicts. We are not naive children. We are one massive, global, tribal village that transcends man-made law, physical geography, and time itself. We are The Massive. One Massive.
We were first drawn by the sound. From far away, the thunderous, muffled, echoing beat was comparable to a mother's heart soothing a child in her womb of concrete, steel, and electrical wiring. We were drawn back into this womb, and there, in the heat, dampness, and darkness of it, we came to accept that we are all the same. We came to accept that we are all equal. Not only to the darkness, and to ourselves, but to the very music slamming into us and passing through our souls: we are all equal. And somewhere around 35Hz we could feel the hand of God at our backs, pushing us forward, pushing us to push ourselves to strengthen our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. Pushing us to turn to the person beside us to join hands and uplift them by sharing the uncontrollable joy we felt from creating this magical bubble that can, for one evening, protect us from the horrors, atrocities, and pollution of the outside world. It is in that very instant, with these very realizations that each of was truly born. We continue to pack our bodies into clubs, or warehouses, or buildings you've abandoned and left for naught, and we bring life to them for one night. Strong, throbbing, vibrant life in it's purest, most intense, most hedonistic form.
In these makeshift spaces, we seek to shed ourselves of the burden of uncertainty for a future you have been unable to stabilize and secure for us. We seek to relinquish our inhibitions, and free ourselves from the shackles and restraints you've put on us for your own peace of mind. We seek to re-write the programming that you have tried to indoctrinate us with since the moment we were born. Programming that tells us to hate, that tells us to judge, that tells us to stuff ourselves into the nearest and most convenient pigeon hole possible. Programming that even tells us to climb ladders for you, jump through hoops, and run through mazes and on hamster wheels. Programming that tells us to eat from the shiny silver spoon you are trying to feed us with, instead of nourish ourselves with our own capable hands. Programming that tells us to close our minds, instead of open them.
Until the sun rises to burn our eyes by revealing the distopian reality of the world you've created for us, we dance fiercely with our brothers and sisters in celebration of our life, of our culture, and of the values we believe in: Peace, Love, Freedom, Tolerance, Unity, Harmony, Expression, Responsibility and Respect.
Our enemy of choice is ignorance. Our weapon of choice is information. Our crime of choice is breaking and challenging whatever laws you feel you need to put in place to stop us from celebrating our existence. But know that while you may shut down any given party, on any given night, in any given city, in any given country or continent on this beautiful planet, you can never shut down the entire party. You don't have access to that switch, no matter what you may think. The music will never stop. The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end.
I am a raver, and this is my manifesto.




I found this while searching the net. I love this.... anyone else agreE and FREE APES!!!!
@!#@$!

[17 Aug 2005|05:42pm]
[ mood | jumps for joy ]

Well this year has gone by so fast and now my year comes to a close as Otakon 2005 nears. Its so great alot of fun times but now for the grand closeing anyone going this year hit me up im trying to hang out lol. Its time to get my naime convention and Raveing on!!! peace

@!#@$!

Words [14 Aug 2005|10:48pm]
These are words i have decided to add to my Serial Killa Vocabulary


Murder:The unlawful killing of one human by another, especially with premeditated malice

For those of you that dont know waht malice is

Malice:A desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will or spite.

Law. The intent, without just cause or reason, to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another.



And for those of you that know what this is about your ass is mine. Imma fuckin kill you, welcome to my playground. Bitch ass pussy. Thanx for your time whore! [+1M]


Ashes 2 Ashes 4 Life,
Michael"bench Boy"Morris
2005!
1 comments @!#@$!

Long time [26 Jul 2005|02:57am]
[ mood | Rollin On E! ]

Well Its been quite some time. Lindsay and I are nolonger to gether alot has changed since that has happened. Beck and I have been together for alittle more then 6 months i think. Im doing drugs again. Roll on E just about 3 times a week, shrooms, and acid. I know its bad Butwho really cares anyways. Im thinking about moveing to another state again. Ive been chilling with Scooter alot lately, I miss all of my friends dearly. Im sorry i havent been around just too fucked up and shit so.........


Im out yet again,
Ashes 2 Ashes 4 Life!
Michael"Benchboy"Morris

@!#@$!

[21 Jun 2005|02:39pm]
[ mood | Fuck you ]

To Ashley: You stupid bitch!



Why do people want to make others feel bad? Does it really make them feel good to do so? In my lowest feeling moment I’ve never thought it would feel good to go up to someone that cared for me and make them feel like shit. Nobody has the right to do that. Some people think the world owes them or that if they have to be miserable so does everybody else around them. Guess what? The world owes you fuck all and if your miserable boo fucking hoo, deal with it. You think nobody cares about you? Guess what? Keep doing what yer doing and you’ll be right. I know people that have disabilities, physical and mental, and most of those people I know are the most easy going people I’ve met. Their lives are no where close to being peachy but they don’t go around trying to make people feel as bad as they do. They don’t look for pity. They treat the people in their lives right not because they want somebody to feel sorry for them but cuz they care about others and know making someone feel bad or uncomfortable will not make them feel good. There is that old saying “life’s a bitch “. Guess what? That doesn’t mean you have to be. There are enough people out there that will treat others like shit and look down on others for being nice. So you get off on complaining about your life to the point where yer making the people around you miserable or you treat people like shit, you better get the fuck over yourself. Cuz people will get over on you. They will treat you like shit right back. Nobody feels sorry for you because yer making them feel just as bad or worse. So here’s the plan. Get over yourself. Don’t make your life and others worse. So yer mad, so what! So yer sad, so fucking what! Do something about it, something creative. Something that wont drag you down. I Draw when I’m not feeling good. I definitely don’t try to hurt somebody. The world don’t owe ya nothing, nobody owes you anything except yourself. Make the people around you Happy! Then maybe People wouldnt treat you like a uckin bitch.

@!#@$!

The last two nights [23 Apr 2005|06:45pm]
[ mood | Well it can be worse ]

Hey again its me well Ive not typed in a while. I went to my girlfriends dance thing last night it was good. Dinner pissed me off tho. I cant stand those girl's boyfriends, Fuckin cocks. Ive been out doing grifitti the last couple of nights. Loads of fun. neways ive not much to talk about.


Mike'bench boy'Morris
Ashes 2 Ashes

@!#@$!

420 [20 Apr 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | Thank you & fuck you ]

Well to day is april 20th. My life untill this point has been a roller coaster. Last night I went to Ocean City just for the hell of it 3 hours down and back. I had alot of time to think,Yea like thats a good Idea. Ive realized that of all the shit that has happend to me in the past that Ive grown to except the fact that my life will always be shit. But I am the only one that can change that. If you have a problem with me fuck you, noone cares. If you hate me, Fuck you too. Dont come to me dont run your mouth just kep it to your self Iv not the time to deal with it.

To all my real friends and family I love you all for sticking by me through all my hard times. Genie, Nathen, Lindsey M., Becky, Scott, And neone else that i might have forgotten.


Mike'bench boy'Morris
Ashes 2 Ashes

1 comments @!#@$!

Resalution [18 Apr 2005|10:45pm]
[ mood | Lost in my own world ]

Well now its been 24 hours and so far so good, God only knows if it will stay calm. Life has not been much different since then.Well Ive not much to say tonight got to much shit on my mind to type shit. Peace

Mike'bench boy'Morris
Ashes 2 Ashes 4 Life

@!#@$!

sgaf eht & evetS [17 Apr 2005|01:27pm]
[ mood | Fuck you ]

Well Well.... Now here we go again. I'm guess your still a little pissed off i still have what you want,Happiness. But now it's your turn to feel it. You like to run your mouth and step down when you know i'm coming. Send you little secret messages through your away messages on aim. I know who your talking about well heres mine come get some. Your want it to be over but you pop off at your mouth then step your ass up and get some. We used to be boys and now i see why you were always lurking in my shadows, always wanting to be me. Becky was with a counterfeit me and that was you now she got the real deal. And to you krystal steve is full of shit and runs his mouth to much there's shit you don't know and i don't think you care to know but if he don't stop soon, His past will come to haunt him.........

And with that i say my good bye.

Mike'bench boy' Morris
Ashes 2 Ashes.

3 comments @!#@$!

Florenzo [18 Mar 2005|11:19pm]
[ mood | Killa ]

Well..... Today,
I was really pissed off. Wendsday night I went to the Psychopathic Allstars Tour. The show was off the hook Blaze, ABK, Esham, Jump Steady, And a few opening groups. But Florenzo was there, If anyone knows me then you know he owns me $40.00. So back to it, He ran from me at the show hes been dippin on me sence for ever. I getting sick of it. Well tonight I found him at White Marsh. Well Nate, A-Ron, and I went after him, grabed him, and drug him out of the movie theater. This is the last straw. Now im done, The next time I see him and my money isn't in my hand im going to kill that poor boy. So Florenzo this is a message to you. Brace yourself because the next time we meet, and you maybe shakeing your head right now, You will be leaveing in a bodybag. Thats not a threat it is a promise.

@!#@$!

[28 Feb 2005|06:55pm]
[ mood | content ]

Well it's been quite a long time. Life is good now i guess im with becky and happy. I never realized how much i really liked her. Im not the brightest person in the world, however i know a good thing when i see one. Steve is finaly done fighting and thats good. Ive got a friend i now trust, Nathan< god bless you my god son well be boys till we die. Heres to life and all that it brings. Well im done with the game i cant handel the stress. Its time to put the front and the image to rest R.I.P. Bench Boy you wont be missed. The resurection of Michael E. Morris Jr. Peace,
Mike Morris

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[26 Feb 2005|11:24am]
http://www.livejournal.com/community/ashes_two_ashes/

My new comunity join if your down
@!#@$!

ahses 2 ashes [26 Feb 2005|01:25am]
[ mood | fuck all yall ]

This is the unafical message boad for A2A rockin a gray bandanna acrossed the nation. Me and my boys holdin it down. baseball bats and all holler at me if you wanna join. Lets get it started juggalo nation to the fullest.

@!#@$!

An end to this year [17 Nov 2004|10:37pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

x AmityvilHorror: mike...
LooKinInaMirRor: yea
LooKinInaMirRor: whats up
x AmityvilHorror: by any chance do you have any idea of whats going on this weekend
LooKinInaMirRor: nope
LooKinInaMirRor: dont know dont care
x AmityvilHorror: :-\
LooKinInaMirRor: im not pressed ovr it
x AmityvilHorror: k but I kinda am sorta maybe
x AmityvilHorror: concidering if I am staying with you I have to tell my dad tomorrow
LooKinInaMirRor: look i dont care right now
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont thik you are
x AmityvilHorror: o k
x AmityvilHorror: what's wrong babe?
LooKinInaMirRor: nothing dont worry about it okay
x AmityvilHorror: well, if it's making you act this way, I can't help but worry
LooKinInaMirRor: its fine
x AmityvilHorror: dare I ask why I'm not seeing you this weekend?
LooKinInaMirRor: i ont know if you are or ot oka
LooKinInaMirRor: stop asking ive answered your question
x AmityvilHorror: ok
x AmityvilHorror: Well, I guess I'll talk to you when you're in a better mood
LooKinInaMirRor: what ever
x AmityvilHorror: ugh'
x AmityvilHorror is away at 6:54:09 PM.
LooKinInaMirRor: okay

Auto response from x AmityvilHorror:
It's like someone pissed in everyone's bowl of cheerios this morning! Can't ANYONE be happy? Just for a little bit?

LooKinInaMirRor: yea just be happy yea like thats fun
x AmityvilHorror: you're the 2348236528962 person today who's been in a bad mood
x AmityvilHorror returned at 6:55:25 PM.
LooKinInaMirRor: well its just one of those days
x AmityvilHorror: I can see
LooKinInaMirRor: add one more for jer hes pissed off to
x AmityvilHorror: :-\
x AmityvilHorror: uhm...I failed a test today
x AmityvilHorror: uhm, I'm gonna go lay down, try to make back up plans if I don't see you, I don't feel like sitting home all weekend
LooKinInaMirRor: your not staying at seans
x AmityvilHorror: i haven't talked to sean
x AmityvilHorror: I meant during the day
x AmityvilHorror: anyone
LooKinInaMirRor: katie is the only peron i trust and you know that
x AmityvilHorror: I know
x AmityvilHorror: ugh, I am stayong home
x AmityvilHorror: cause no matter what i do you won't approve
x AmityvilHorror: if I make plans with katie she'll wanna go to wm
LooKinInaMirRor: i cant help it
x AmityvilHorror: I don't wanna go thewre and you don't want me too
x AmityvilHorror: I barely got to see you this weekend, and spent most of it freaking out because yo thought you wanted to end us, and I saw you monday for a while, I don't feel like sitting at home by myself all weekend
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know waht to say
x AmityvilHorror: you can say you can trust me
x AmityvilHorror: it's been over 6 months
x AmityvilHorror: and you still can't see that I've changed
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know if ill ever trust you and i told you that
x AmityvilHorror: ever???
LooKinInaMirRor: yea
LooKinInaMirRor: ever
x AmityvilHorror: you fucked that girl jessica, and talked about how you wanted "strange pussy" to steve all the time
x AmityvilHorror: and I trust you
LooKinInaMirRor: after we split up
LooKinInaMirRor: we werent to gether
x AmityvilHorror: and when did you have sex with her?
LooKinInaMirRor: were we
LooKinInaMirRor: after we broke up
x AmityvilHorror: you told me it was this past summer
x AmityvilHorror: cause when I was crying to steve about it, he said that you had already told him and said tht you told me already
LooKinInaMirRor: no i fucked her early summer while we wernt to gether
x AmityvilHorror: what do you consider us now?
LooKinInaMirRor: i thought we were together
LooKinInaMirRor: but if not thats fine to
x AmityvilHorror: and then I considered us together
LooKinInaMirRor: but if you really want to get it like this
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not trying to get it like anything
x AmityvilHorror: and I'm not trying to argue
x AmityvilHorror: I just want you to trust me
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know if i can do that
x AmityvilHorror: why
LooKinInaMirRor: you fucke how meny peopl and lied
x AmityvilHorror: past tense
x AmityvilHorror: do I do that now
x AmityvilHorror: have I for the past half a year
x AmityvilHorror: besides that stupid vivki shit
LooKinInaMirRor: the point is you lied and i dont care how much youve said you changed the point is you lied
x AmityvilHorror: and you can never acceot my apologies
LooKinInaMirRor: and ant
x AmityvilHorror: and never trust me
x AmityvilHorror: how can you love me and not trust me?
LooKinInaMirRor: because i can
LooKinInaMirRor: you dont know me
x AmityvilHorror: you won't let me know you
LooKinInaMirRor: fine
LooKinInaMirRor: y should i so you can get in and hurtme agin
LooKinInaMirRor: nah cuz it wont happen
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not going to hurt you
LooKinInaMirRor: you already did
x AmityvilHorror: You know that all I do is want to soend time with you
x AmityvilHorror: and talk about you all the time
x AmityvilHorror: and write about you
LooKinInaMirRor: that is stalkerish
x AmityvilHorror: that's nto stalkerish
x AmityvilHorror: that's not having anything else in my life
LooKinInaMirRor: well thats crazy
x AmityvilHorror: what do you limit me too?
LooKinInaMirRor: not staying at other GUYS houses
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not staying at other guys houses
LooKinInaMirRor: and not hanging ut with girls taht are gay sluts and drug users.
x AmityvilHorror: wow you named every person in the entire world
LooKinInaMirRor: nah
LooKinInaMirRor: none of my friends are ne of that
x AmityvilHorror: do I know any of your friends
x AmityvilHorror: do any of your friends like me
x AmityvilHorror: do you even trust me hanging out with your friends with out you there?
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont chill wit girls like that
LooKinInaMirRor: not alot of my guy friens
x AmityvilHorror: Mike, when you told me after we broke up that you were hurt and shit, and had me on the edge of killing myself, that hurt more than anything else in the entire world. But when I found out about that girl Jessica, I realized I was wrong. I would rather not have you, than have you and you be with other people. I know how it feels now. And, I don't know. I just don't think you feel the same way you used to do
LooKinInaMirRor: i was hurt
LooKinInaMirRor: but i did jess cuz of ant
LooKinInaMirRor: your fuckin stupid
x AmityvilHorror: I just want us to forget all of that
x AmityvilHorror: I beat myself up over it ever day, I am constantly reminded of it
LooKinInaMirRor: do you want me to be honest?
x AmityvilHorror: I don't know how to do deal with it anymore
x AmityvilHorror: yes I want you to be honest
LooKinInaMirRor: ill never for get
x AmityvilHorror: then never forget it
x AmityvilHorror: we won't put it behind us
LooKinInaMirRor: i cant
x AmityvilHorror: and I can deal with not having anything but you. I love that. I love you. but you have more than just me
x AmityvilHorror: and when your not with me I have nothing
x AmityvilHorror: again
x AmityvilHorror: like I did before you
x AmityvilHorror: I have me and my paper
x AmityvilHorror: before I had drugs too
LooKinInaMirRor: well ahve it
x AmityvilHorror: I don't want that
x AmityvilHorror: I want you
x AmityvilHorror: do you understand that?
LooKinInaMirRor: i do
x AmityvilHorror: do you know what it feels like when I don't have you and
x AmityvilHorror: and you are out all of the time
LooKinInaMirRor: no i dont
LooKinInaMirRor: yea i do
LooKinInaMirRor: thats how the whole first part of our relationship was
x AmityvilHorror: so why are you going to make me feel like that?
x AmityvilHorror: if you know how it feels?
LooKinInaMirRor: im not doing it intentionaly
x AmityvilHorror: do you realize you're doing it now?
LooKinInaMirRor: how so
x AmityvilHorror: I got to school, I come home...5 days a week. then maybe I hope to see you on the weekend, after bugging you about it all week long, and wind up spending a few hours with you at a mall. which the only thing I look forward to in the entire week is spending time with you
x AmityvilHorror: and I don't
LooKinInaMirRor: ut ever
LooKinInaMirRor: iht
LooKinInaMirRor: what ever aight
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not trying to argue please don't have an attitude
x AmityvilHorror: I just want you to understand me
LooKinInaMirRor: i spend time with you
LooKinInaMirRor: but when i want to you cant
LooKinInaMirRor: but when you want to im suposed to jump
LooKinInaMirRor: well its not happin
x AmityvilHorror: when do you want to and I can't?
LooKinInaMirRor: its been like that
x AmityvilHorror: when's the last time that happened?
LooKinInaMirRor: i was going to spend last weekend with you but you fucked that up
x AmityvilHorror: I didn't know I suposed to see you saturday
LooKinInaMirRor: i was going to spend halloween with you but you couldnt
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont even wat to here taht shit
x AmityvilHorror: I had jeremy asking em all day where you were cause you were suposed to go hang out with him
x AmityvilHorror: will you stop with halloween?
LooKinInaMirRor: no i wont
x AmityvilHorror: I'm so sorry that I was sick
x AmityvilHorror: and couldn't go outside
LooKinInaMirRor: i had talked about it for months
x AmityvilHorror: and I could only stay in a house
LooKinInaMirRor: fuck it yo
x AmityvilHorror: do you think i planned on getting sick?
LooKinInaMirRor: im not fighting the point is its not working
LooKinInaMirRor: right thats waht it s
x AmityvilHorror: no
LooKinInaMirRor: is*
x AmityvilHorror: I want it to work
x AmityvilHorror: and all I want is to spend some time with you this weekend
LooKinInaMirRor: that what its been all about these last couple of months
x AmityvilHorror: no it hasn't
x AmityvilHorror: not for me
LooKinInaMirRor: yes
x AmityvilHorror: no
LooKinInaMirRor: for both me and you
x AmityvilHorror: why has it been for you?
LooKinInaMirRor: i know it and you know it
x AmityvilHorror: no I don't know it
LooKinInaMirRor: you do
LooKinInaMirRor: stop being so fuckin blind
x AmityvilHorror: Mike I've been spending hte last couple months trying to make this work
x AmityvilHorror: because I want to be with you
x AmityvilHorror: and I don't want to be without you
x AmityvilHorror: not right now
LooKinInaMirRor: y now
x AmityvilHorror: because right now i need you the most
LooKinInaMirRor: 9i dont know
LooKinInaMirRor: i cnt keep this going
LooKinInaMirRor: its only hurting me and you
LooKinInaMirRor: thats all it is
LooKinInaMirRor: and you fuckin know it
x AmityvilHorror: i know its not just that
x AmityvilHorror: mike, do you want to be with me?
LooKinInaMirRor: sometimes yes and no
LooKinInaMirRor: you tell me about you
x AmityvilHorror: ok
x AmityvilHorror: I'll tell you
x AmityvilHorror: you just got to be patient I might write a lot
x AmityvilHorror: When we first got together, I was stupid and blind and selfish, and manipulative. And I used you, so much. and even after everything, all of the lieing, all of the cheating, even after we broke up...you still didn't give up on me. You said that you weren't ready to let me go. No one's ever done that for me, not my friends, not my family, just you. And I realize now that you are the only possitive thing I have in my life that is keeping me going. And when you are mad at me, I just remember when you told emt hat you love me the most and you've loved me the longest. And I think that you still feel that way. I just want to make this work, cause I'm not ready to let you go.
LooKinInaMirRor: lindsay this is wrong
LooKinInaMirRor: i do love you and parts of me always will but
LooKinInaMirRor: it will never be what weve had
x AmityvilHorror: it doesn't have to be what we had
x AmityvilHorror: it can be better
x AmityvilHorror: I'll make it better
x AmityvilHorror: I'll do anything you want, be anything, give anything
LooKinInaMirRor: no
LooKinInaMirRor: stop
LooKinInaMirRor: it wont
x AmityvilHorror: no you stop
x AmityvilHorror: It can be
LooKinInaMirRor: NO it cat
x AmityvilHorror: it only won't if you don't want it to
LooKinInaMirRor: cant*
LooKinInaMirRor: you dont get it
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know what else to say
x AmityvilHorror: just tell me what you want
x AmityvilHorror: don't keep making me think were going to be together if were not
LooKinInaMirRor: i want you to come clean and lets get it all over with before we both regreat ever beeing to gether
x AmityvilHorror: have you been listening to anything I've been saying for that past couple weeks
LooKinInaMirRor: yes i have
x AmityvilHorror: and you don't believe me
x AmityvilHorror: mike I don't know what else to say
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know either
x AmityvilHorror: I just need to know what you want
x AmityvilHorror: what do you want to do twith us
x AmityvilHorror: I've said what I want
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know
LooKinInaMirRor: i just cant keep you like this
LooKinInaMirRor: and i know nothng is going to change
x AmityvilHorror: just yes or no
x AmityvilHorror: do you want to be with me
LooKinInaMirRor: No
LooKinInaMirRor: not now
LooKinInaMirRor: okay so you can take that how you want
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont know if we can stil be friends or not its up to you
LooKinInaMirRor: please dont cry
x AmityvilHorror: I don't think I've ever needed a cigarette so much in my life
LooKinInaMirRor: or cut or ne of that
LooKinInaMirRor: id bring you one but i donthhave the car till 600 am
LooKinInaMirRor: what are you doing?
x AmityvilHorror: having an anxiety attack
LooKinInaMirRor: stop
LooKinInaMirRor: im leaving i cant take it
x AmityvilHorror: just do me a favor
x AmityvilHorror: and sign onto livejournal, and read the entry on ____dollyhead, dediacted to you
LooKinInaMirRor: Y?
x AmityvilHorror: because
LooKinInaMirRor: when did you wright it?
x AmityvilHorror: the 13
x AmityvilHorror: sunday
LooKinInaMirRor: ive read it already
x AmityvilHorror: have you
LooKinInaMirRor: yea
LooKinInaMirRor: so you might as well tell me
x AmityvilHorror: tell you what
LooKinInaMirRor: nothing
x AmityvilHorror: Don't make me feel stupid when i say this
x AmityvilHorror: so take it however you want
x AmityvilHorror: but I know that we'll be together again someday
LooKinInaMirRor: okay
LooKinInaMirRor: i guess
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont think imma date nemore
LooKinInaMirRor: i cant get with neone else
LooKinInaMirRor: and i cat be with you so im done
x AmityvilHorror: I'm gonna go into my kitchen and take all of the sharp objects and lock them in my other room, then take a few oxycotin and write
x AmityvilHorror: You can be with me
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not moving on
LooKinInaMirRor: no drug
x AmityvilHorror: I know I'm meant for you
x AmityvilHorror: there's nothing chagin my mind
LooKinInaMirRor: you need to move on
x AmityvilHorror: no i don't
x AmityvilHorror: michael, I love you
x AmityvilHorror: YOU
LooKinInaMirRor: okay
x AmityvilHorror: not anyone else
LooKinInaMirRor: ill love you too
LooKinInaMirRor: but right now i cant be with you
LooKinInaMirRor: we both need to move on
LooKinInaMirRor: go get your friends back
LooKinInaMirRor: do somethng im not stoping you nemore
LooKinInaMirRor: do waht ever you need to do to get over it
LooKinInaMirRor: i love you good bye
LooKinInaMirRor: well still hang out and be friends if you want
LooKinInaMirRor: i just dont know what you want in this situation
x AmityvilHorror: I don't even want this situation
LooKinInaMirRor: well its my doing
x AmityvilHorror: I a;ways thought that maybe I'd be happy, without having to have only you, and only want to make you happy
x AmityvilHorror: I don't want it
LooKinInaMirRor: you dont want what?
x AmityvilHorror: this
x AmityvilHorror: us not together
LooKinInaMirRor: well its how it has to be
LooKinInaMirRor: so is there nething you need to tell me
LooKinInaMirRor: before i go out
x AmityvilHorror: I'm sorry
x AmityvilHorror: and I love you
x AmityvilHorror: more than you will ever know
LooKinInaMirRor: i love you too
LooKinInaMirRor: sure
LooKinInaMirRor: i know how much
LooKinInaMirRor: you dont know how far i went to keep you happy
LooKinInaMirRor: but it mad me unhappy
x AmityvilHorror: Just go out and have fun, forget about me
LooKinInaMirRor: i dont want to for gt
LooKinInaMirRor: just move on
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not moving on
x AmityvilHorror: This is just going to be the hardest thing I've ever gone through
LooKinInaMirRor: so are we stilll friends?
x AmityvilHorror: god I hope so
x AmityvilHorror: thank you for giving me the best year of my life :-\
LooKinInaMirRor: and meny more to come just different
LooKinInaMirRor: you know
x AmityvilHorror: no
LooKinInaMirRor: okay
LooKinInaMirRor: well you will findout
LooKinInaMirRor: ill still hang out with you
LooKinInaMirRor: ad you can still come over
LooKinInaMirRor: and what ever
x AmityvilHorror: won't be the same
x AmityvilHorror: i gotta go trow up
x AmityvilHorror: and, I have to talk to .....someone
x AmityvilHorror: I need to hear some voice
x AmityvilHorror: besides my own
x AmityvilHorror: I'll see you whenever
LooKinInaMirRor: god
x AmityvilHorror: I hope this is what you really want
x AmityvilHorror: god what
x AmityvilHorror: ?
LooKinInaMirRor: you act like i did it to you
LooKinInaMirRor: im out
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not
x AmityvilHorror: no mike
LooKinInaMirRor: maybe ill do it to me
x AmityvilHorror: I'm not saying you did anythign to me
x AmityvilHorror: I just hope this is what you think is best
x AmityvilHorror: cause if it was up to me we'd be together
x AmityvilHorror: I just... I love you. Don't forget my number

Auto response from LooKinInaMirRor: Out.... youll never find me

LooKinInaMirRor: im planing on trying to hang out this weekend
LooKinInaMirRor: sometime
LooKinInaMirRor: but if not thats fine
x AmityvilHorror: i'd like that
x AmityvilHorror: *tries to smile*

2 comments @!#@$!

Otakon and the terror that ensused [09 Aug 2004|09:16am]
[ mood | grrrrrrrrrrrrr ]

Hey everyone this followoing week has been hell. it all started at otakon which was of the hook. but on saturday i started feeling a little down so i went home early and came back on sunday. from the con we (ME GENIE AND LINDSAY) went back to genies house where we took lindsay home and i spent the night the next day i was so sick i couldnt move. My back my head it hurt so bad so i went to the hospital and got a spinal tap and found out i have a viral infection. layed on my back for a week and finay and ably to get up and move to day on augest 9th this is bull shit. my migralins still come back. but there getting weaker and weaker. so hopefully i will be better soon

2 comments @!#@$!

around and around [27 Jul 2004|01:54am]
[ mood | Help wit the pain ]

God im about to blow my fuckin head off again my head aches are back like never before. I need to blow it the fuck off. My hands wont stop shakeing and my heart wont stop pounding im twitiching.im going to snap. Please some one help me. I really cant take it ne more!

@!#@$!

another day [23 Jul 2004|02:37am]
[ mood | Lost in my own mind ]

Well today i slept in it was fun. had a bad day wished i was dead. I hope lindsay had fun wit her friends and all i dont really care she goes out wit her friends. I just i dont know. My parents have in formed me that there going away for the weekend of the 30th and thats otakon. HOUSE PARITY!. Im going to get fucked up i think i dont know yet> my life sux and i want to die in my sleep so the people around me can be happy. Happy a thing so bliss but althe while the pain is what keeps us moveing. Life is a figment of imagination and thats thats. Love is a false word for hope. and death is the only way out. Im just on my way to failur thats all my life will come to be. I pray for redemption and that god takes pitty on my soul for those hurt by me and the pain i cause in others lives. with this i leave you with a thought to ponder. With out hope and dreams where would we be. with out belifes would we have a reason to live. Ashes to ashes?

2 comments @!#@$!

dis belif [21 Jul 2004|01:19am]
[ mood | Ill kill ]

God my da is al fucked now. I want evyone one to know this now my bisness is mine noone elses so stay the fuck ottat it unless i am talking to you. is that so hard.

2 comments @!#@$!

Squeek! [18 Jul 2004|02:27am]
Hey It's Mike and im back. Well lets see i woke at 12:30 today yes ha ha. neways went out wit g about 2 or 3 and went to my moms house for a bit went to steve zapps house to help him plan his trip to teh warped tour. oh joy genies car is dieing and i cant fix it neone wit money to pitch in contct me please ill take checks cash or money orders. nething will help please send something
2 comments @!#@$!

the day after it all [17 Jul 2004|02:34pm]
[ mood | happy happy, joy joy ]

hey its saturday and for friday recap lindsay and i went to the rocks to go swiming it was fun. i went throught the rapids and got sucked in and shit. i went to the ave that was kool saw a lot of old and new faces

@!#@$!

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